7.20.2014

18th day on ängsbacka


18th day on ängsbacka

woke up with awful tension in my entire body this morning.
Realized that every morning I have been waking up so unfulfilling and fast, and I haven't waken up at all until quite late.
I was so open in my energy yesterday that my body needed to get sick today.
I have been feeling angry. I beat myself up for not working, but taking a day off to be sick. 
I want to get the sickness out of my body - with love, but I feel like I'm trying to hard.
Baking for the café is going to be a bit more fun tomorrow, I hope, and if not, that is okay to. I just have to say this to myself.

I want to just be.
It was great having a sharing circle today. I feel like I needed to force myself to speak, but after I did I felt lighter. Still quite overwhelmed by that beautiful interaction between my friend yesterday.  
I feel like I want more connection. Deeper connection. Not just with him, but with everyone around me. 
A cold bath helps, and cleans some off the energies out of my body, making room for a bit of emptiness which feels great.
I'm going for a walk in the forest now, and... I want to be.
The want to be is maybe the thing that is preventing me from being.

Mind mind mind mind mind….

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