10.29.2014

2nd week on Ängsbacka


It's now been two weeks since I found myself standing on Swedish earth, yet again. 
Ängsbacka is gently changing it's colors. Shedding it's skin and becoming naked in front of my eyes. 
The trees are sighing off all their leafs. One by one, every hour.
The air here is crisp and the wind is beginning to bite.
This is a magical and beautiful time for me. 
I'm growing closer and closer to the people here every day, and I have a creeping feeling of wanting to stay here forever. 
I might be wearing rose colored glasses, but I am liking it.
Currently my intention is to stay for quite a while.
I'm trying to create an agreement with the management, to be able to commit for a year or so. 
They are being very loving and empathic about it.
This excites me.

I also have thought about gathering sketches for a potential portfolio for an Art Academy application.
I feel confident in the illustrations I'm working on at the moment.
Feeling like everything is possible.

The kitchen/cleaning work I'm doing here, is easy to do in a meditative, conscious way.
There is a lot of laughter and warmth.
I'm enjoying it. A lot.
I wouldn't have thought I would be saying that I actually enjoy cleaning work, but I really do.

I also enjoy playfighting, sweeping floors, dancing, singing, doing yoga, forest walking, autumn bathing in the lake, talking gibberish, learning Swedish, kissing, hugging, meditating, discussing, chopping vegetables, holding hands, breathing.

Currently ife is easy and light.

Much love.

10.18.2014

3rd day at Ängsbacka

I'm back in Sweden, back at Ängsbacka.
No pictures the comming days. 
Sold my computer. currently borrowing the old PC at Ängsbacka. 
My world is really light and happy.
Ängsbacka is beautiful and embracing. 
Intimate and warm.
I'm mostly in the kitchen helping the chefs.
There is currently a Shamanic Dearmouring workshop going on.
15 participants.
Outside a myriad of green, yellow, ocre and red colors.
The wind is fresh and the water is sweet tasting and clean.
I twisted my ancle yesterday jumping around in the forest alone.
I'm walking around like child learning to walk for the first time.  
Because of this I'm sore in my entire body, but I still have a sense of gratitude for the physical gesture. 
It wants to get a message across.
We had a sauna yesterday which was amazing. 
Sweating out, steaming and cold showering. Autumn body clean out!

I'm surrounded by loving people who has welcomed back into their arms.
This is feels like an amazing magical time

For now, I'm home.

10.14.2014

5th day in denmark.

Great album! take the time if you want to escape into softness and magic tales for a little while… 

Okay… FULL STEAM AHEAD!
The day after tomorrow I turn my nose towards Sweden, to one of my many homes…Ængsbacka. 

Time to grow ---->  ^ this way ^ 
Up, up and away


10.13.2014

Today I had an unexpected visitor

*Riiing Riiing*

"Yes, who's there?"

"Hello Nanna… This is quiet existential crisis"

"Oh… Hello quiet existential crisis… I wasn't expecting you. Could you speak a bit louder please?"

"Yeah… Sorry to barge in on you like that, but… I don't know, you know… Please... attend to me
 or something."

"Of course my friend, I'll do my very best !"





"Better?"

"Yeah… I don't really know…"

"Let's sleep on it shall we?"

"Hmm ok… See you tomorrow"

"Okay, Nighty night"


10.12.2014

3rd day in denmark.


Now, I am back. 
I've returned. 
To denmark.
I'm reunited with my past, that is. 

This sucker on the photo is what ticked me to seriously consider going back to Denmark from Italy. 
Working one morning, splitting wood, I was joking around on the logs and I fell on a big piece of hard wood. and this happened. 

The pain has ceased now, and nothing serious or permanent has happened. No broken limbs! 
but considering what was happening around me, in my life. This little injury was perfect!

It made me reflect upon what state of mind I was in. 
I was constantly wanting to go to remote places, into nature,
into peace and solitude. 
I was "beating myself up" for not wanting to go on with my expected road down trough Italy.
But...
I had enough of wandering about, getting up early, working the crops in the fields, being exhausted spiritually, because of the need to digest all my experiences. 
I was TIRED.
So many life altering realizations has come to me in the last 3 months. Peace and and a little detachment  
will be just what I need.
I had, had dreams of going back to my mother in Denmark, and be with her for a while until going back to ängsbacka this winter.
So.

Here I am. 
The only place I thought I would NOT find myself, 3 months ago, and I love it. 
It's also tough. But certainly the right place for now. 
Being here with my mother and my brothers are best thing for me currently. 
 What a gift to be able to come back and find a loving home waiting. 

So I thank the injury for showing me, that listening to my need for safety and peace is important now.

 Now they are shouting me down for nut cake. :-) 
I thank the higher source within myself and the universe for this family and this piece of land. 

10.08.2014

Goodbye Damanhur!


Goodbye to the beautiful mountains of Damjl, The beautiful family of Prima Stalla, and Damanhur.

Guess where I'm going now :-)
It's cold and familiar...

Tip for great traveling literature: "The transformational imperative" by Shunyamurti

10.06.2014

Pictures made in Damanhur - in progress








5th day at Damanhur


5th day at Damanhur
Trying to find a sense of peace in this astrological cocktail of a fire trine in the sky. 
It's not particularly easy.
A lovely damanhurian gave me a prana healing today with a damanhurian selfica instrument.
Still crying, feeling sensitive, being here is triggering me, mucho mucho.
I need peace. I need time to be able to paint and be me, with myself.

Therefore I am heading to a very special place the day after tomorrow...

10.05.2014

day 4 at Damanhur



I saw the temples of humankind, and Damjl, the heart of Damanhur yesterday.
I'm feeling overwhelmed, sensitive.
randomly bursting into tears now and again.
I crave peace and solitude. 
I would like to be able to be process my experiences in solitude.
But this is a string of interesting challenges that needs attention.
Tomorrow I have a day off, and I have an appointment with the Damanhurian doctors office to make sure I'm not bringing anything contaminating into the community. 
It's standard procedure. 
After I would like to walk the sacred forests near the temples. 
considering going to a remote place for a month after this experience at Damanhur, to paint, contemplate and be in complete peace. 
It would be nice before going back to volunteer for ängsbacka this winter. 



10.03.2014

Day 3 at Damanhur


Day 3 at Damanhur

Slowly being introduced to the ways of Damanhur.
Italian speaking people.
Beautiful mountains and nature.
Vine grape picking in the hot Italian sun. 
Espresso, white bread, cheese. 
Italian locals who wants to adopt me.
Beautiful meetings.
Organic vegetable fields.
Painting.
Many new ideas and meetings with people who moves me. 


Getting to Italy.



Hitchhike trough Germany was smooth, Switzerland and the alps by train was breathtakingly beautiful. Italy as well. 
Extremely cold to sleep at the train station in Basel.
Felt very alone and overwhelmed by the whole world.
Comming from the beautiful nature in Eiserfey  to the various big cities down trough Switzerland was tough. The air was suffocating, and the people in the streets at night where challenging my sense of ease and peace.

Arriving to Damanhur was a hassle. 
It's inconvenient and a bit of an adventure to not speak a word of Italien. 

The first guy to pick me up near Eiserfey, was really kind and helpful. He drove me some extra miles and dropped me off close to a political occupied forest. The people living there was protecting the forest from being exploited by a company digging for coal, chopping down the trees. Very interesting to see and to connect with the people there. 
When I left the place, I got lost in the beautiful forest, it was perfectly wonderful!
but eventually ended up on the main road, where I was picked up by a sweet guy and his italian mother and taken to the nearest train station.
In the end it was an interesting challenge with all the sense of separation and duality.